Reversed polarity in the social flow

[nancylebov]

In my recent post about people getting more approached when they say they don't want it, there were some questions about the genders involved.

The person who inspired my post is male, and the people who were making contact were about 50/50 male and female.

Here's a sad theory. There are a lot of people who don't know what someone being attracted to them would look like. They literally can't see it. They may have been on the receiving end of so much rejection growing up that it's the only social contact they can imagine.

Comments

[n5red.livejournal.com]

That's a good description of my life.

[captain-button.livejournal.com]

There are lots of us around.

Oh, and by the way, how much overlap is there between "someone being attracted to them would look like" and "just wants to be friends would look like"?

Edit: And how are you counting the people who "don't know what someone being attracted to them would look like" because it is the null set?

Edited again for stupid typos

[bschilli.livejournal.com]

At some point you just give up.

[landley.livejournal.com]

It took you this long to notice?

I used to introduce myself as a "Member of the flirting impaired." (We're a small minority group. We're not sure exactly how small because none of us have ever _met_ any of the others.)

[terriwells.livejournal.com]

A fannish friend of mine (male) has said that he can always tell from watching the interaction when a woman is hitting on another guy, usually while that guy is being totally clueless to the fact that he's being hit on. However, he can NEVER tell when HE'S being hit on; in some cases, someone watching the interaction told him later, and after that he confirmed it (he's not actually shy, so he had no problem asking the women later "Were you hitting on me?").

[landley.livejournal.com]

Many years ago I commissioned a t-shirt from one of those "any slogan on a t-shirt, pay by the letter" places. It said "Single male, good condition, hardly used, make an offer". The theory was my shirt could flirt for me.

(Over the next 5 or so years, it worked exactly once. Which made it totally worth it, although the relationship didn't last.)

Rob

[bradhicks.livejournal.com]

<--- raises hand.