Sometimes it takes a village to raise an adult

[nancylebov]

Last night, I was riding my bicycle in Philadelphia, and a man (at least 40 years old) asked to ride on my handlebars.

Approximate transcript:

Me: "Why did you say that?"
Him: "I'm just playing with you."
Me: "I've been riding a bike in Philadelphia for over ten years, and people keep saying things like that. I can shrug it off on a good day, but it makes a bad day worse."
Him: "I'm glad you're not all that upset."
Me: "I'm enforcing a policy."
Him (looks nervous): "What's the policy?"
Me: "Nobody plays with me for free."
Him (non-ironically, I think): Have a nice night.
Me: Have a nice night.

In case it wasn't obvious, the price of playing with me was that he had a conversation he wasn't looking for.

I'd thought of the "Why did you say that?" move a few days ago. The rest of the conversation was improvised.

Comments

[madfilkentist]

People keep saying things like that? Do you have any idea if that's a Philadelphia thing, or a way female bicyclists get treated, or what? I'm familiar with stupidity and hostility when bicycling, but not that kind of nonsense.

[nancylebov.livejournal.com]

This didn't used to happen to me in Newark, Delaware. It started happening immediately in Philadelphia.

"Can I ride on your handlebars?" is unusual. Much more common is "Can I ride in your baskets?" which is sometimes frighteningly insistent or singing the witch theme from The Wizard of Oz.

I haven't heard anything like this from anyone else. "Can I ride in your baskets" is presumably only going to happen to people with bike baskets (uncommon) and I assume the witch theme only happens to women, possibly only to middle-aged or older women.

[sodyera.livejournal.com]

This sounds like just another pick-up line. You could have just as easily just ridden by and said little more than, "Yeah, right."

[nancylebov.livejournal.com]

For me, that would have been emotionally less satisfying.

And I've gotten that stuff from women (though more rarely) and once from a man in front of his wife. She apologized, but I don't accept third person apologies.

[shagbark.livejournal.com]

I don't understand what your problem with it is. You just want people not to talk to you? It's just a way of initiating a conversation, in a society that gives us few opportunities for conversation.

[nancylebov.livejournal.com]

From my point of view, that's just harassment. My snap reaction is to hear it as an intrusive demand. I can't imagine what an appropriate rejoinder would be to move it to a conversation. What are you imagining?

Cats, Dogs, and Jerks is probably relevent.

Saying something like "I like the bike baskets" or "Nice t-shirt" or "Lousy weather we've been having" are conversation starters for me.

[shagbark.livejournal.com]

Most people don't have the foresight to start conversations by saying things that are planned to have some response. The struggle for most people is to think of anything to say at all.