Quote of the day

[nancylebov]

From Fugitivus:

If somebody is investing time, resources, and energy into convincing you of your own worthlessness, that same somebody has revealed to you that they have a lot to lose if you don’t believe them. They’re protecting their own loss of power. Which means they perceive you as somebody who can take that power away. If somebody is putting in the work to knock you down, it’s because they’ve got something to fear about you if you’re standing up.

Found among the added links to the classic essay on sick systems.

Comments

[madfilkentist]

It took me a long time to realize that about a couple of people who were obsessively harassing me from 1996 to 2001. Somehow they'd tied their entire self-image to getting some sort of surrender from me. They never got it.

[metahacker.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the reminder. I feel like I should re-read that essay every six months or so, just to watch for signs in existing relations.

Wish there was a more positive version of it, saying what NOT to do and what to look out for, and how to disentangle. The link you give says some of that, but I'm finding the reading hard because it's all in the abstract and very narrative rather than instructive. A project for another day for me, perhaps.

[caper-est.livejournal.com]

That is a site with a lot of impressiveness and eye-openers on it. Thanks for the pointer!

And to the main quote: yes, yes, and yes with extra yes sauce. I wish I'd been exposed to that notion, that well put, back when I was nobbut a lad.

[kgbooklog.livejournal.com]

I'd disagree with that statement in some situations, when the speaker is also talking about their own worthlessness. For example, people too cynical to vote.

[trinker.livejournal.com]

Ooh.

[nancylebov.livejournal.com]

Slack: Getting Past Burnout, Busywork, and the Myth of Total Efficiency is good on the workplace side.

The Relationship Cure by Gottman looks really promising. In other words, I've read some of his other stuff, and he seems both kind and sane. Amazon reviews include a lot of people who say his work has made their lives better.

[alexx-kay.livejournal.com]

It becomes harder to parse in that situation, but I think it still works out to truth. The power at risk of being lost in your example would be "the power to avoid taking responsibility for my own (lack of) action". Losing that would certainly be something to fear.