The Bottom Line

[nancylebov]

http://fromthearchives.blogspot.com/2006/05/i-could-not-be-more-serious.html

The good thing about realizing that fun is what you really want out of a reward is that you can skip intermediate steps and go straight to the fun. Once you know what is fun for you, you should do that instead of anything that is only a proxy for fun (like material consumption or hedonism or looking cool). For me, fun usually involves moving around, being with witty, kind people, doing new things, learning stuff. Planning fun is often itself fun. Fun often includes goofiness and sometimes a delighted self-awareness in the moment. I should also mention that fun has a high discount rate. Always value the fun as it happens; never leave fun for potential fun.

Link found at Marginal Revolution.

And then I started poking around the blog a little more....

I have a few questions that I think are telling, but my favorite is for straight men. I like to look them in the eye and ask ‘trip to the DMV, or blowjob from a man?’ Most men will commit to their choice immediately, but then I go after the ones who would rather go to the DMV. In that case, the source of the blowjob is behind a screen, and there is a fifty-fifty chance that it is a man. There are always a lot of questions after that, so I have to explain that the screen is horizontal, that you will find out afterward whether it was a man or a woman, and that you do not have an appointment at the DMV. If there are still holdouts, I’ll change the percentages until we find out where the threshold is.

Last night at Ali’s party, I ran into variations I’ve never heard in the years I’ve been playing this game. One man was seriously considering his options, and asked me whether he still had to go to the DMV after he was done with the blowjob. That would change his answer, he said, because he would rather not have that chore hanging over him. But I lost control of the game when I was explaining that of course the man or woman under the screen would be super hot. Some freak shouted “OR MONKEY!” Or monkey?! Man, woman or smokin’ hot monkey?! They all went with monkey, though. It was the end of the game, but the start of the party.

Comments

[madfilkentist]

It's curious that she says that hedonism (the pursuit of pleasure) is a proxy for fun. I can't tell from her post how she distinguishes between the two, or why she chooses one over the other.

The question I'd ask, if I were to offer a serious philosophical discussion with her, is whether she regards fun as more basic as happiness (which she seems to by implication), and if so, why.

[nancylebov.livejournal.com]

I guessed that she was defining hedonism as things that are supposed to be fun, but aren't fun for you. Frex, I had two heavy restaurant meals in a day once. Never again.

Comments are open at her blog if you want to ask.

[kgbooklog.livejournal.com]

‘trip to the DMV, or blowjob from a man?’

That's easy for me. While I'll happily fantasize about sex with hot women, in Real Life I'm excessively introverted. You won't find me having any sort of sex with any sort of stranger. And what's so bad about the DMV? (Assuming you remembered to bring along a book to read...)

[nancylebov.livejournal.com]

I assume there are local variations in DMVs. The one in South Philly was alright, but someone mentioned a DMV in comments where, if you show up on one day, they won't take you till the next day--but they don't tell you that, so newbies spend a day sitting in the DMV till closing.

[kip-w.livejournal.com]

From Viz's "Top Tips" -- "Planning a vacation is half the fun, so next year save money by staying home and planning two."

[nellorat.livejournal.com]

I hate going to the DMV, even with a book along. First, they don't have nearly enough chairs, so you have to stand in line. And shuffle forward by minute degrees at small but unpredictable intervals, which to me starts to interfere with the pleasure of reading. But what really topedos the joy of reading is that some people get called out of line, or sometimes people are called by a number shown at a sign on the wall instead of taken in line order, so you have to keep one ear out for that and can't totally absorb yourself in the books. It is much better with a good conversationalist along (womzilla went with me once, for instance), but still I begrudge the time in an unpleasant atmosphere (including being surrounded by the complaints of people who don't have a good conversationalist or even a book) when the same talk could be going on nicely at home or in a cafe or something.

Still---hmmm--Nancy, maybe you could bond with people you want to get to know by offering to go with them when they have to renew their drivers' licenses!

[nellorat.livejournal.com]

Both excellent points/ideas.

I have, however, discovered that for me spending money, even apart from what I buy, is a genuine pleasure. Sure, I assume this means I've been brainwashed to be a good capitalist consumer, but that doesn't make it any less real (and makes it just one of the myriad ways I've been brainwashed, too, I'm sure). And then I also love what I buy.

To deal with the first but not spend too much on luxuries, when I do want the joy of spending money, I tend to think up things that we genuinely need (within first-world, pampered definitions of "need"). For instance, the rats had chewed up some of their sleep-in tubes, and we threw the wooden toys and stuff to get rid of mites, so one time when I just wanted to spend money I went shopping for the rats. Another day, makeup, some of wich I lost on a trip and some of which was outdated (using too-old mascara can give eye infections). Now I feel a desire to shop coming upon me, but I need a few perennials and many annuals for the gardens. And so on.

Sometimes just shopping is what I want, too, but other times it is definitely buying.

Thn on the third hand, some things I just want, and if I don't have to actually buy them, all the better. Specific books are this way, which usually my sweet womzilla will order for me, or my sweet supergee may run out to get if the desire is pressing (most recent example: Stephen King's Cell when I was either ill or depressed). And I mostly order my clothes online these days, but that is deendent upon years and years of trying things on in stores so I know what styles look good on me.

[nancylebov.livejournal.com]

I definitely get a mild high from spending money. I think it's a matter of "I see it, I want it, I make a very small effort, I have it". So far as the high is concerned, it doesn't matter if I'm buying for myself or the business. As far as I can tell, getting material objects is the key--buying serivices or renting (like getting tables for conventions) doesn't have the same kick.

Fortunately, if I'm not spending much, I can get a kick from spending smaller amounts.

Lately, I've been working on distinguishing between "things which can be reasonably expected to improve my life" and "things which seem really cool to own."

[seekingferret.livejournal.com]

I don't really understand why such effort is made to get straight men to admit some homosexual tendency. Blogger claims that serious insight is gained from seeing how men respond to such a question. I think you don't learn anything particularly interesting about a person from their answer.

I am a straight, Orthodox Jewish man. I think I would probably enjoy a blowjob from a man more than going to the DMV. I also think that I am a million times more likely to go to the DMV than to get a blowjob from a man. So what?

The real agenda of the blogger is to somehow 'convert' (bend?) as many straight men as possible. I think the whole idea is ridiculous. Let straight people be straight and gay people be gay, and stop making a political issue out of the whole thing. If a person is in denial about their sexual orientation, that's something they should take up with a psychologist, not with a random stranger at a party.