When nutritional theories go feral

[nancylebov]

You’re hardcore now, so you go way past way cave-person. You go all the way to The Inuit Diet™.

Some people say it’s a little fringe, but you are committed to live a healthy lifestyle. “Okay,” you say, “let’s do this shit,” as you fry your caribou steak and seal liver in rendered whale blubber. You lose some weight which is good, but it costs $147.99 a pound for frozen seal liver out of the back of an unmarked van at the Canadian border.

Even though The Inuit Diet™ is high in Vitamin D, you learn that every disease anywhere can be traced to a lack of Vitamin D (you read that on a blog post) so you start to supplement. 5000 IU of Vitamin D before sitting in the tanning booth for an hour does wonders for your hair luster.
Maxing out your credit line on seal liver forces you to continue your internet education in healthy eating. As you read more you begin to understand that grains are fine but before you eat them you must prepare them in the traditional way: by long soaking in the light of a new moon with a mix of mineral water and the strained lacto-fermented tears of a virgin.

And so on-- there's some interesting stuff in the comments, both wiseass and experience with various diets.

Comments

[celandine13.livejournal.com]

Hilarious, and a big part of the reason I don't do serious-business paleo.
I do like butter, though, and exercise.

[mama-hogswatch.livejournal.com]

Yep...

I just try to eat my veggies, don't eat too much stuff out of a box and leave it at that.